RANDOM THOUGHTS from the retirement lane: Thanks to government nannies, when the big snow and power outages come this winter, I'll be able to safely freeze in the dark.

With the forecast for a colder, snowier winter ahead, I've put in a wood stove insert in my fireplace and now have an emergency power generator ready to go in the basement so that theoretically I can remain warm, lighted, in touch, and clean (we have an electric well pump) when the power goes out and the driveway becomes impassible.

I gave a fair amount of thought to buying a propane generator, but our house is all-electric and the thought of storing propane canisters indefinitely gave me pause, so knowing that I have two 18-gallon gas cans (i.e., cars) in the garage, I decided on a gasoline-powered generator, siphon pump and hose, and a 5-gallon gas can.

Except that ...

Thanks to those friendly government safety nannies alluded to above, both cars appear to have anti-siphon devices in the filler tubes and the 5-gallon gas can has an anti-spill nozzle that is wholly incompatible with the filler port on the generator.

So ...

While no thief can steal gasoline from my cars while they are parked in my (locked) garage, and while I can't burn my house down by spilling gasoline outside refilling the generator, I can safely freeze in my cold, dark house.