NOT THE FIRST: Ted Cruz is actually the 195th presidential candidate for 2016.

Go here to see the other filers. Be sure to look up Sydney Voluptous Buttocks (Independent), President Emperor Caesar (Democrat), and Ole Savior (Republican).

LASER BUG ZAPPER inches to market. The next step should be a higher-power laser terrorist zapper ... how many terrorists do you think there would be if they knew their 'privates' would be fried into congealed uselessness?

ROSETTA'S COMET is spinning down. To keep Philae from being thrown off?

TWEET OF THE DAY: Proper punctuation is important.

Otherwise people might misunderstand....

STARBUCKS. Okay, let's talk race. You're not gonna be happy with what I have to say.

PEACE IN OUR TIME, multicultural edition. Neville Chamberlain, call your office.

DEJA VU all over again.

It never fails. Every time an election result disappoints liberals, it turns out to be due to scandalous methods, underhand tactics, duplicitous charges, and fear.

Fear of what, you may ask? Nothing too serious. Fear of threats that turn out to be baseless (the Soviet Union, for instance), fear of the modern, fear of the other, fear of the new.

It's never because the liberals did anything wrong. It's always because they were made to have seemed to, by someone who tapped subconscious fears of something quite different – most often that old standby, race.

Liberals are never wrong. It's always that they didn't work hard enough. Or didn't spend enough. Mostly didn't spend enough.

EVEN THE NEW YORK TIMES is getting fed up with crybaby college students.

TOM COTTON schools Obama about Iran:



But Obama won't listen, of course, since he already knows it all....

'TAXPAYERS': a 'trigger warning' for those delicate flowers who won't share the burden.

POWERLINE: Vegans for global warming?

THE SCOREKEEPER on gaming the retirement system.

BREAKING NEWS: Spine implants are not covered by ObamaCare.

PERHAPS AMERICA should reassess its relationship with President Obama. The rest of the world, and particularly our friends, surely are.

DO TELL: ObamaCare hasn't aged well. In my estimation, without a full repeal, it can only get worse.

A PLEASANT THOUGHT: Could Liberal disgust with campus brownshirts be reaching critical mass?

DOES 'OPEN BORDERS' mean I can choose to which country I pay my taxes?

BOSTON GLOBE: Run, Liz, Run. For once, the Boston Globe and I agree; but the Liz I want running is Elizabeth Cheney.

GOP, TAKE NOTE: "If you never find yourself opposing Big Business, then maybe you don't really support free markets."

MCCAIN TO OBAMA: Stop the tantrum and focus on ISIS.