THESE ONE LINERS might be why NBC retired Jay Leno!

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

On NSA surveillance: "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one."

On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House."

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

Concerning the Benghazi, Associated Press, and IRS scandals: "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?"

On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS."

"The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi : Hope and change the subject."

"It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records."

"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'"

On Obama's commencement address: "He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs."

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi."

On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. It's gotten so bad that people in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American."

From my email, with a ring of truth...

LEFT-WING HATE GROUP labels Common Core critics 'right-wing extremists'.

OBAMA: I'm not on the ballot, but -- I've got one more campaign to run....

Well, he can run for Senate in Illinois in 2016 to replace Republican Mark Kirk, or in Hawaii in 2018 to replace Democrat Mazie Hirono. Since it might be a bit unseemly for a sitting President to run for Senate, my money's on a 2018 run from Hawaii.

Of course, there's also the Secretary General of the United Nations. Ban Ki-moon's term ends December 31, 2016. I'm sure they would wait until January 22, 2017....

POLICING FOR PROFIT: another reason for dramatically reducing the size and scope of government.

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION ON THE IRS SCANDAL: We know nothing ... and we're determined that you know nothing as well.

HAS THE DEMOCRATS' WAR ON WOMEN turned into a war on Democrat women? Swords can cut both ways, you know.

FUNNY HOW those pesky unintended consequences keep cropping up in the Liberals' wet dreams....

NATIONAL REVIEW ONLINE: Our condolences to Harry Reid:

The Editors would like to extend our condolences to Senator Harry Reid and his family as they go through this difficult time. While we can only guess at the exact nature of the psychiatric or neurological trauma the Senate majority leader has suffered, we assume that it is severe, judging by his symptoms, the most prominent of which is his new habit of taking to the Senate floor to deliver speeches that sound like they ought to be coming from a man wearing a bathrobe in front of a liquor store in Cleveland.

There's more. Read it all.

EVEN LIBERALS ARE BEGINNING TO AGREE: ObamaCare employer mandate will disproportionately hurt low-wage workers.

MORE NONSENSE FROM ACADEMIA: 'Diversity' means segregation.

Newspeak.

NYC MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO'S BUDGET: it's only someone else's money.

AMAZING: Cassini Spacecraft About To Celebrate 10 Years In Orbit Around Saturn. Follow the link for the photos.

Back then (1970s-80s, when Cassini and its predecessors were conceived, designed, and built) the U.S. could do things. Because it's nuclear-powered, today Cassini couldn't be built without the EPA requiring a galactic-wide environmental impact statement.

Well, maybe only a solar-system wide one....

MOTHER'S DAY THOUGHTS from Ammo Grrrl.

KENTUCKY GUN CONTROL: Home invader tries to take advantage of elderly couple -- and fails.

STONE KNIVES & BEARSKINS: ends with a brief discussion of early computers. Of the 70 comments, I could find only one with earlier experience than me (and then, by only one year).

NASA SAID TO BE one of few government agencies to have good civil service system. Perhaps because it does things as opposed to regulate them?

Although under the Obama administration that may no longer be true.

POGO REVISITED: "We have met the enemy ... " Day by Day unloads with both barrels.

THE BOTTOM LINE: racial segregation (and probably sexual orientation segregation) is “cool” if it’s done in the name of “diversity.”

WASHINGTON EXAMINER: Missouri moves toward stronger gun rights.