NINE IMPORTANT FACTS to remember as we grow older.

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

From my email.

ONLY SEVEN? The 7 Dumbest Things That Offended Liberals.

These 'people' are bat-shit crazy. Apologies to the bats....

HEH:

SAY WHAT? Pharaonic Circumcision Under Patriarchy and Breast Augmentation Under Phallocentric Capitalism: Similarities and Differences.

If the liberal brain was an egg, it would come from the shell pre-scrambled.

SIGN THE PETITION to send CNN's Sally Kohn to live in a Sharia-based country and teach those right-wing haters a lesson.

MORE PROOF: If liberals didn't have double standards, they'd have no standards at all.

How many Hillary signs have been stolen?