DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY (DOGE) identifies 535 government workers who haven't done any work for years.

I see the Babylon Bee has given up satire and gone to straight news reporting.

I'D BELIEVE THE SUN RISES IN THE WEST BEFORE I'D BELIEVE THAT WOMAN: Whoopi Goldberg claims bakery refused her service over her leftist views.

Apparently I'm not the only one.

MUST BE A COINCIDENCE: "Nearly all of the states that chose Vice President Kamala Harris were ones that have no voter ID on the books."

BERNIE SANDERS: "It should come as no great surprise that a Democratic Party which has abandoned working class people would find that the working class has abandoned them."

Heh.