JEFF JACOBY: Voters Trump drives from the GOP aren't likely to return. Then they're not real Republicans. Good riddance.

CANDIDATE PROMISING TO BATTLE ‘URGENT THREAT’ OF CLIMATE CHANGE uses private jet for 20-mile trip.

Many years ago, I flew from Oakland to San Francisco. But it was on a commercial flight. And the Earth was cooling back then....

21ST CENTURY RELATIONSHIPS: Wives threatening to divorce teir husbands if they vote for Donald Trump. My response would be "Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out."

But I don't have to worry; my wife is smart. She's encouraging me to vote for Trump.