STATISTICS? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' STATISTICS. It's true if Michelle Obama says it's true.

'FRUVE', WASTE, AND ABUSE: Feds spend millions dressing creepy students up as fruits, vegetables. On (I guess) the bright side, college is their natural habitat.

REPUBLICRATS LOSE: Tea Partier wins write-in race for Pennsylvania state Senate seat. Good news.

A PILOT EXPLAINS what probably happened to the Malaysian airliner. The comments are excellent.

SO MUCH for 'the most transparent administration in history.'

MARCH MADNESS: Putin annexes Crimea; Obama picks his Final Four.

Jeez. How can gross incompetence not be an impeachable offense? Biden may be dumb as a sack of hammers, but a sack of hammers certainly cannot do more damage than Obama has already done.

NEWT GINGRICH: Sorry, you can't buy this car in New Jersey (or many other states, for that matter).

THOSE DAMNED UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES AGAIN: Pilots complain of brightness from huge solar farm. Will (can?) environmentalism ever learn?

JEFF JACOBY: President, or punch line? Our 'president' doesn't know the meaning of the term dignity.

FLAT STANLEY TO FLAT LANDERS: Sensor-laden 'napkins' to explore other worlds.