IT HAD TO BE HOMOPHOBIA, RIGHT? RIGHT? Seattle closed the door on the subminimum wage for people who work for small businesses, earn tips, or enjoy medical benefits under a punishing new minimum wage law.

"I hate to close a safe space for queer people at this time," Bebop Waffle Shop owner Corina Luckenbach explained on Instagram, "but the money just isn’t there after the minimum wage increase (which I fully support)."

In honor of Occam's Razor, stupidity is a better option....