GOOD NEWS! Hillary’s still talking!

Please, please Hillary—keep on making speeches. better still, please run again in 2020. I have a large popcorn futures position that I’m hoping to cash out and retire on. And besides, clearly you need the boost: I see Rutgers only paid you $25,000 for this speech, a 90 percent reduction in your pre-2016 rate. Which only goes to show what people thought they were paying for back then. But what are they paying for now?

And still running. She'll keep running, from the cemetary if necessary, until she wins.