THANK YOU. NOW PLEASE STAY HOME: Liberals prepare themselves for another Thanksgiving family dinner.

If you will notice, there are no conservatives writing how-to-lecture-a-captive-audience stor[ies].

That's because the conservatives are too busy buying turkeys and trimmings. Cleaning up the house. Getting out the folding chairs.

These family dinners tend to be hosted by conservatives because we took out mortgages, not student loans.

Heh.