I JUST RECEIVED my Shutdown Survival kit from the White House…

It contains a parachute, an ‘Obama Hope & Change’ bumper sticker, a ‘Bush’s Fault’ yard sign, a ‘Blame Boehner’ poster, a 'Tax the Rich' banner, an application for unemployment, an application for food stamps, a prayer rug, a letter of assignment of debt to my grandchildren, and if that was not enough, there was a discount coupon for a machine that blows smoke up my ass.

Everything was “Made in China " and all directions are in Spanish.

Keep an eye out. Yours should arrive soon.

From my email (as usual).