FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

Money cannot buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them.

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

The fourth rule should be repealed....