TRANSLATING LIBERAL-SPEAK

Arsenal of Weapons - Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands - Swamp
Undocumented Worker - Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials - Synthetic Fiber
Taxes or Your Fair Share - Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control - Gun Confiscation
Multicultural Community - High Crime Area
Social Progress - Marxism
"The Rich" - Self-Employed
Investment For the Future - Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform - Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater - Conservative
Truants - Homeschoolers
Fair Trade Coffee - Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters - Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby - NRA Members
Assault Weapon Grandpa's M1 Carbine
Fiscal Stimulus - New and Higher Taxes
Eco-Friendly Lighting - Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

As the snow melts, my yard has been transformed into a "delicate wetlands."