A THOUGHT ON PROGRESSIVISM AND THE NANNY STATE: Visiting the Great Smoky Mountains National Park a few weeks ago, we had the unique opportunity to experience a key failure on our Honda Pilot at a scenic view site deep in the park. Yes, a key failure – in a mere 70K miles, the metal key wore away enough to be unable to engage the tumblers in the ignition lock. I’ve lost keys before; I’ve broken keys before, but I have never, ever, had a car key just plain wear out.

There was a spare key available, so all was not lost and we returned home with no problems. But here’s where it gets interesting. The broken key has one of the RFID chips embedded, and they’re neither easy -- or cheap – to replace. It requires an electronic reader/writer to read the key ID and transfer it to the new key. Not a device you typically find at the nearest Tru-Value hardware store.

The Honda dealership wanted $200 for a new key; they also wanted the car, auto registration, and a driver’s license before they’d replace it. I found another locksmith who just wanted (a lot less) money.

And that got me thinking about the Progressive’s nirvana.

Suppose I didn’t have a replacement key and had to call Roadside Assistance, who might have to call the police to verify the car wasn’t stolen; the police again to verify there are no any outstanding tickets or warrants against the driver; the DMV to verify the title and lienholder; the bank to ensure the auto loan is current; the insurance company to verify the auto insurance is in force; the State to verify that all taxes and fees are paid; Electronic Health Records to verify recent physical and eye exams; the pharmacy to verify prescriptions are current and don’t interfere with driving; and ... finally ... authorize a Government-certified locksmith to replace the key.

Did I miss anything?