MINIMUM PERFORMANCE REQUIREMENTS (for Systems Engineers)

Since I’m now less than two weeks from my departure date, I thought I should spend a little time comparing my performance so far to the minimum standards to see how I shape up.

Able to slow down from a dead stop

If taking 2 steps back for every step forward counts, I’m doing fine.

Able to add 1 and 1 to get the required estimate

Easy - the proof is in my checkbook balance.

Is self-impacting

I love beating my head against a wall - it feels so good when I quit. And it burns 150 calories an hour!

Capable of justifying the irrational, unreasonable, or incorrect

Just look at my resume.

Is self-defeating

Hmm ... I may have to work on this one.

Able to pursue multi-random directions simultaneously

Easy, I can turn on a dime and leave 9 cents change.

Capable of coping with, and following, infinite misdirections

Not a problem - I can do this alone. No outside help needed.

Able to consistently overcome success

So far, so good, but accidents happen.

Able to build mountains of fantasy from molehills of non-viable facts

Trivial. Mt. Everest is small by comparison to the mountains of fantasy I create every day.

Looks like I’m mostly ready - a little more work on becoming fully self-defeating, but I’ve got some time to master that before I leave.