JAY LENO: "President Obama is off on his three-state bus tour this week. I believe the three states are Confusion, Delusion and Desperation." Let's see ... we now know the names of 53 of his 57 states. What are the names of the remaining four?

OBAMA: If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

DOES THIS MEAN THAT GOLD has to be returned to the country from which it was mined?

VICTOR DAVIS HANSON: Liberal Psychoses. Read it all.

MARK STEYN: Another Cabinet Department to Abolish.

STILL VOTING 'PRESENT': How about I show you my economic plan next month?

NOW THAT the 'debt crisis' is over, the Washington Post's E.J. Dionne is in full spin mode again.

[Obama] believes his old speech declaring there is neither a red America nor a blue America, and he trusted his capacity to bring left and right together — an imprudent presumption, given the nature of the current GOP.

See? It's the Republicans' fault -- never mind that the President's approval rating is below 40%. Somehow I have a hard time wrapping my mind around Dionne's evident assertion that over 60% of the populace are theos evil Tea Party Republicans.

STARBUCKS CEO urges other CEOs to stop donating to U.S. political campaigns. What I find amusing is that "In 2000 Schultz donated $50,000 to the DNC, and since has donated thousands to Washington Sen. Maria Cantwell, President Barack Obama, then presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and John Edwards...."

NANNY STATE MADNESS: "When California’s elected officials come back from their month-long recess they face a mountain of proposed legislation (almost 900 bills are lined up and waiting), including a new law (SB432) that would require hotels to eliminate flat sheets. Not having fitted sheets on hotel beds would now be a crime in California. This is not a joke...."

FLAMEOUT: 'Car of the Future' crashes in the present.

THAT LITTLE? Study finds women gossip five hours a day.

THAT'S SOOO 2008. Paul Krugman: What this economy needs is a space alien invasion!

THE OBAMA BUS TOUR: "A Big Ol' Hunk of Nothing on Two Thick Slices of Nada."

ROBERT REICH: Obama's policies "are just not big enough to make much of a difference." I'm surprised -- Obama has policies?

HOW ABOUT A DEPARTMENT OF (MY) JOB?

STOP CODDLING THE SUPER-RICH. Warren, you and your fellow millionaires and billionaires can always write a check to the Treasury. Have you?

OBAMA EMBARKS on job-saving tour. Yeah, his job.

LET'S NOT REDUCE THE DEFICIT; let's redistribute it.

HOPE YOUR BACKYARD GARDEN IS DOING BETTER THAN MINE: CAFE standards for big rigs.

HARRY REID: Yep… That Tea Party’s Going Away Any Day Now....

Reid could speed up the process by 4 years by resigning now.