DON'T TELL THE DEMOCRATS: The election will be decided outside of the nation's capital.

IF CANADA IS SO GREAT, why do they come to the U.S. to shop?

I THOUGHT I had gotten a new lounge chair ...


for myself....

ANSWERS TO frequently asked questions about Christians.

OBAMA CAMP offers to pull back on tax attacks if Romney releases 5 years of [tax] returns. It's the perfect opening for Romney; he should agree if Obama agrees to release his high school and college transcripts. Which one would be more embarrasing?

THE 'CARING' LEFT: "Ethicists" attack religious parents for refusing to pull the plug. I put 'ethicists' is quotes to differentiate them from real ethicists.

WHAT REAL MEN are made of.

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO ON UNEMPLOYMENT:

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment, do ya?

COSTELLO: That would be frightening.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a politician.

From my email. Whoever wrote this did an excellent job of capturing the essence of two real Abbott & Costello routines: Who's on first? and Loafing.

SHE KNEW SHE'D NEVER HAVE A CHANCE OTHERWISE: In Harvard essay, young Michelle Obama argued for race-based faculty hiring.

FINALLY, it's being said out loud: "the main reason for requiring government permits is so that politicians can demand money and favors in exchange for 'helping' you with them."

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: "A government at bottom is nothing more than a group of men, and as a practical matter most of them are inferior men."

TOO BIG TO FAIL.

WHO IS MORE VULNERABLE to 'MediScare'?

DEMOCRATS WANT debate questions on Obama's debt commission [Simpson-Bowles] barred. I'm sure the media will be happy to oblige.

UNICORNS CAN'T VOTE -- yet.

LOST IN NUANCE: the plain meaning of words. To the progressive Left, words have no meaning except that which they assign to advance their objectives.

IS OBESITY a disease or a moral failing? Or maybe it's just a lifestyle choice....

NASA AWARDS $11B for development of commercial 'space taxis'. It will be money well spent if it leads to the government just 'buying tickets' for future rides to commercial space.

HEALTH WARNING: Eating food may be hazardous to your health. Um, just in case liberals are unaware, starvation is also hazardous to your health.

OBAMAFAIL: Facts? We don't need no stinkin' facts.