Joy in public life is hard to find these days, so I exhort conservatives to get over their anti-earmark mania and view the pork spectacle as (relatively) cheap entertainment.
Some Washington experts say that to come out from the shadows and join respectable society, this distasteful Congressional habit just needs to be reformed. I agree. Reform's watchword is "transparency."
Let's not be shy about this. Given its past sins, the earmark pork barrel must migrate to America's most transparent medium -- television.
On the "American Earmark" show, Senators and Representatives would have to do a song and dance about each of their projects. Sen. Jon Tester could sing out for $682,000 for Sustainable Beef Supply in Montana. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins could do a lovely duet for the $3.45 million Machias River project. Frank Luntz, the pollster, would assemble focus groups of local citizens who'd use those little post-debate machines to vote thumbs up or down on the competing pork.
These sectionals could be escalated to a televised national finals of earmark madness. Taxpayers for the first time would see some of earmarking's legendary professionals compete in public: John Murtha, Bobby Byrd, Dan Inouye ($238,000 this year for the Polynesian Voyaging Society), Virginia's Jim Moran.
Quoting Henninger, “Hey, it used to be your money. Why not enjoy it?”
Indeed. Grab your popcorn.
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