Sunday, August 27, 2006

GARRISON KEILLOR IS A GHOUL

In an August 23 Chicago Tribune commentary titled “Why shouldn’t their voices be heard?” Garrison Keillor proved his bona fides as a ghoul and voyeur. Arguing that the 911 tapes from the World Trade Center should be publicized, he wrote:
The city argued that to hear people in anguish in their last minutes constitutes invasion of privacy. The truth is that the callers had no interest in privacy; they were desperate to be heard, and censoring them now is a last insult by a bureaucracy that failed to protect them in the first place.
Um, Garrision, when were you anointed the knower of all truth?
[T]he first thing we thought, seeing the burning buildings on TV was: What is it like for the people in there?” We wanted to know.

No, Garrison, we didn’t. You did. You’re the ghoul, not us. Did the thought ever occur in that split-pea-sized brain of yours that perhaps, just perhaps, the families of those who died might not want their husbands, wives, parents, children and friends final anguish to be that for which they are remembered?

Nah. Of course not. They’re just hicks; not the nuanced elite. They don’t count. This is too important for them to matter. Besides, it’s a delicious opportunity to slam the President:

[I]nevitably, politicians began to seize the day and turn it into a patriotic tableau starring Themselves.... [A] few days later the Current Occupant mounted the wreckage with bullhorn in hand and vowed vengance, and the media were glad to focus on the martial moment ...

Garrison Keillor, you’re a ghoul, a vampire, a voyeur. You lack humanity; you discredit the human race.

WORLD’S BIGGEST JERK – CHICAGO DIVISION

My wife and I were having a quiet breakfast in a Chicago diner ... until we were rudely interrupted by the entrance of Chicago’s candidate for the World’s Biggest Jerk. Daisy won’t let me use the language I’d ordinarily use to describe his behavior, so I’ll have to limit myself to describing him as huge – as in barely able to wedge himself into the booth, unkempt, loud, arrogant, self-centered, demanding, and viciously rude.

Ordinarily I’d blow him off as just another jack-, um, jerk, until I overheard (as if I could have avoided it) him boast of being on welfare and only use cabs for transportation. No buses for him – too slow, too inconvenient. Never mind that the (employed) person he was meeting was taking the bus.

That did it for me. Here’s a man on welfare, too “important” to take a bus, willing to embarrass his companion into paying for his meal, demanding more than was on the menu, constantly complaining, viciously rude to the waitress, and I’m picking up the tab with my taxes.

What’s wrong with this picture?

SUNDAY NIGHT CATBLOGGING

Shadow doing what he does best - waiting for dinner.